Posts I liked (last week really...!)

http://theartofsimple.net/young-gray-hair/

I don't think I've got much/any grey hair just yet but I love this refreshing approach to greying. I've never coloured my hair and enjoy the fact that, for free, I get highlights in the summer and a darker head of hair in the winter. I intend to continue to let my hair go as nature intended as I age and embrace grey hair when it happens to me!

http://www.elle.com/fashion/celebrity-style/g27990/kate-middleton-style-formula/

I've been realising my winter breastfeeding mum uniform is a nursing vest, blouse on top and skinny coloured trousers. It's so nice to not really think about my clothes and I'm gradually reducing my wardrobe, keep the odd outlier but sticking to my style formula. This article has a great pictorial description of the Duchess of Cambridge's style formula. Her particular style isn't practical for me but I aim to get my wardrobe based around categories like this too! 

The 'mum uniform'

http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/planning-funerals-that-wont-happen-today-2/ 

This article is fantastic. I have continued to hold worries deep in my heart particularly in relation to Daniel. I also fear my own premature death, not for my loss but for my boys. As Paul says in Philippians it is better to die and be with Christ but he sees the value in staying to teach the growing church. On a much lesser stage I feel such a strong need to be here for Daniel in particular and am so terrified of him/me dying. Yet by worrying I can add not one day to either of our lives. God already knows their number and I have felt a burden lift from my heart as I finished this article and realised He is in control and I cannot prolong any of our lives by worrying. 

http://www.archbishopofcanterbury.org/articles.php/5704/a-personal-statement-from-the-archbishop-of-canterbury 

I actually collated these links last weekend and never got round to writing a little paragraph for each link until now and already it's been days since I've seen anything about this in the news. A fascinating story, such wonderful grace and humility in the response of both the ABC and his mother, and fantastic acceptance among the public. No calls for resignation or nonsense from legalistic Christians that sometimes pops up with stories like this. I love the ABC and thank God for his witness and wonderful faith. 

Links I've liked this week

While I try to get myself back into writing regularly and getting my blog properly up and running, I've decided to do a weekly 'links I've enjoyed' type post. The subject matters will likely be fairly wide-Christianity, baby names, organisation, politics...

I follow some blogs that have such weekly link based posts and am always interested in why they posted them, so will try and explain each of mine too. I'll also post my photo of the week just so the post doesn't get lost in text! 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/123548-i-let-my-grandma-dress-me-for-a-week-this-is-what-happened

This is a lighthearted one to start off. I don't have any living grandparents but love the idea of having a regular FaceTime date with an elder relative. I also think it's lovely to see this Grandma's style and creativity. I suspect she enjoyed being able to select outfits for her granddaughter who can wear them. Maybe Grandma feels at her age she can't wear them even though she likes these outfits herself. She has more style than I do!

http://halelrod.com/6-minute-miracle-morning/

So, I've recently started bullet journaling (my next post will likely be all about this!) and I've discovered Hal is a bit of a legend for some dedicated bujo people. Hal's book 'The Miracle Morning', suggests a simple routine to do first thing in the morning called 'SAVERS'. It uses 6 practices - silence, affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading and scribing - and Hal swears this will help you get the best out of your day. Thing is, each practice only takes a minute, so it really is easily implemented. I haven't yet tried it but, you know, I've read it which is as good as my intentions get these days! 

http://www.swistle.com/babynames/2016/03/21/baby-naming-issue-three-pregnant-sisters-all-want-to-use-the-same-name/

Told you baby names would get in here! Love this post and love the outcome, which I won't spoil here. I was convinced they'd all have boys but thankfully not! As someone who is really into names I tend to think first one there gets to use a name, but you can't really lay claim to a name anyway so nothing is really stopping someone coming after you using it. It does depend on the rarity of the name though. I mean, if a close friend or family member wanted to use a name we had used but it was number 3 in the country (as Daniel was in 2012 when we named him) then it's hardly something we can say no to. If it had been something unusual though, I guess it would feel like 'ours'. Anyway, a fun story to read!

http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/absurd-legalism-gender-roles-submission-piper

I'm a big Rachel Held Evans fan. I grew up with plenty of Christian friends and read lots and lots of books and went to as many conferences as I could in my teens and early twenties and would say I formed a fairly conservative theology in some areas. Anyway, Rachel's blog got me thinking about some of my opinions and whether they stood up to how my faith and understanding of the Bible has grown. This post discusses the complimentarian approach to male-female roles. Our approach to parenthood has been direct, equal and it works. I'm realising more and more (after 8 years of marriage!) that men prefer direct communication and if I continue to be indirect about matters of faith or finances or whatever to ensure Colin remains the 'leader' of the relationship then I do us both a disservice, and I believe our relationship is better off when we are equals who work together to lead our family. 

Photo of the week is the fun of an Easter Egg hunt for a child who can't read-my fabulously talented sister in law drew clues for Daniel to follow to find the next egg and he loved it. As did my family (we didn't do egg hunts growing up!) who followed him around excitedly taking photos! He hasn't eaten any of the eggs, in fact I'm not sure he knows what they are but he enjoyed the afternoon's fun in the garden! 

Screen free February

I've been screen free this month. Well, I was screen free for a week. It turns out my husband and I had different ideas about what we'd agreed to. I thought it was no social media, no internet usage and no games on the iPhone or iPad (I'm a big fan of playing Settlers or doing sporcle quizzes when nursing). We had already agreed that to find out a piece of information, the example discussed was a restaurant telephone number, you could google it rather than trying to locate yellow pages etc. Then I discovered half way through the first week that my husband thought BBC news was ok, and he wanted special dispensation to go on Twitter and read up on a legal trial he's been following in the U.S. I continued to be screen free aside from texts and emails and found I was sorting photos and reading books more, particularly when feeding Rory. 

But then I had to find out some pieces of information (time and location of a meeting I'd to go to was only on Facebook), opening times for a gym I was taking the boys to, and I started to notice I was picking my phone up more. I was reading emails, then clicking through to websites if I wanted to see the advertised offers and realised I was starting to lose control of this month's  project. I also realised Pinterest didn't  fall into a banned category and now I finally get the people who say it's an addition! I do have considerably more ideas for our bedroom redecoration though. So I decided after a few days of loosening the parameters to go back to my understanding of the original boundaries. No browsing the internet even if it was a project like doing holiday research. I think my husband is using the wider definitions but it's amazing what it has lead me to do:

- I went to a fabric store to get samples of material I'm considering for curtains for our bedroom;

- I wandered around a few furniture shops to look for a slim TV unit to fit in a recess. I can't find one! Perils of having a small TV in this 50" world we live in;

- in the afternoon after Daniel's nap time we went to IKEA and went for a walk and got an icecream. Normally in the afternoons I tend to sit on my phone for a while while the boys play so I can have a mental break;

- I went to a few local shops to try and source furniture for Daniel's dolls house. (unfortunately one only did pink furniture and the other had two wildly overpriced sets that I couldn't justify buying)

I love to support local shops and although the choice is more limited and it's not always affordable I should rely less on the Internet, even at the research stage of big purchases. 

I also noticed I have been spending better quality time playing with the boys as I'm not compulsively checking Twitter or googling non-urgent queries such as 'how long to cook a pork chop?' or 'when do baby's top teeth come in?'. 

It's also allowed me to be less distracted when decluttering as I'm out of the way of picking my phone up every 10 minutes to do a Facebook/Twitter/general browse cycle. The progress in the house has been amazing! 

Towels have been sorted! 

I'm writing this as I feed Rory, the one time I've really struggled not to use my phone. He feeds most evenings for about 1.5 hours and I'm stuck with little to do if I'm trying to keep light levels low as I can't use my kindle or read a book. So during nursing sessions when Daniel isn't around I'm allowing myself a bit more leeway-there's the time for my holiday research! There definitely is a time and place for idle browsing but I can already see how this month is helping me find the balance. I'm not even particularly interested in going back to Facebook or Twitter. Success!

Really, 6 months?

I can't quite believe it's been 6 months since I started, and then dropped, my new blog. It turns out babies are fairly easy the first month (I missed most of Daniel's as he was in hospital still) and once your husband goes back to work, life with two gets a little bit crazy. 

My decluttering has been sporadic but when it occurs is much quicker than in the past and I've cleared out many items I'd previously kept after decluttering sessions which is very satisfying. More posts to come on this topic, don't worry!

A decluttered drawer!

I decided to do a word resolution for 2016. I went with 'control' - the house probably being the key area but each month would focus on something different. I also have picked a classic children's book to re read each month too. 

January's control subject was sugar, and the aim was to be sugar free all month. Less than 48 hours into my cold turkey approach and I had to reach for the sugar I was feeling so ill. It turns out I had a bad bout of sinusitis and then an ear infection. Cold turkey was also a silly approach on reflection. I initially only took small amounts of sugar each day and was aiming to reduce gradually and try two weeks sugar free instead. However, when I got to the 15th January (my new sugar free date) I think I decided it hadn't worked so far so I might as well give up completely! First month = FAIL! 

February is screen free month to get control over my phone usage and general internet addiction. I've been reading many things about how significant a problem this is and know my phone is never far from my hand. I spend hours each day browsing the Internet, scrolling mindlessly through Facebook and impulse buying things from promotional  emails. I can't wait to see how this goes! 

See you in March!

Day 3 - socks and tights

I'm some kind of superwoman, in a very narrow category. I don't run ladders in tights. I genuinely get confused listening to other women when they get a hole in their tights. It's not that I don't, it's just a very rare occurrence. Which is why my tights collection contains tights I've had since junior school. Yup, when I was 12 years old! The only reason they still fit is because I've stretched them so much over time but that's amazing, isn't it? My favourite pair were my best friend Hannah's that I accidentally picked up after games one Wednesday in 1997. Well, when I say favourite I mean for nostalgic purposes! I still used them for work as recently as the first half of my last pregnancy, in early 2015, that's almost 18 years of use.

So I gathered together my tights from their three locations; a bag in the back bedroom, one of those over door storage  holders and two plastic storage containers next to my work clothes. There were 74 pairs. I kept 13. The book says you have to handle every item, and it was amazing how many pairs looked ok but felt a bit tired. Maybe saggy at the waistband or bally at the ankles and it was only feeling each pair one after the other that subtleties became clear. I was left with a pile of about 20 pairs and I decided I didn't need that many. I kept 6 thick pairs in a range of colours for wearing with boots in winter. I then kept 7 smart pairs-3 nude, 2 grey, 1 navy and 1 black. I wear navy most often so will need to buy a new pair or two coming into the winter. 

What amazed me most was how the new sushi roll presentation means I can see all my tights easily, they won't get stretched and they all fitted in one small plastic box. My socks fitted in another box. 

The discard pile is as impressive as the 'after' picture. I put them in piles of 5 pairs so it was easier to count!

So that's over 80% of my tights discarded with no hesitation and already I can see how much easier it will be to find my stuff when it's purged and properly folded. 

Days 1 and 2-nightwear and candles

It's a strange book, this 'Life Changing Magic of Tidying'. The author is the same age as me but has 25 years of tidying, I would call it decluttering, under her belt. The book is full of lots of short sub chapters in each of the sections with quirky titles such as 'Unread books: 'sometime' means 'never'' and 'Empty your bag every day'. The book looks firstly at why you have a problem, explains you should throw out by category, then shows you how to discard stuff, talks about storage and then how this will change your life. By the second section - looking at how you need to discard first before looking at storage and doing this by category - I'd already started the process as I was so excited and inspired! 

So I cheated a bit. I started with nightwear (not a clothing category in the book but a clear category for me). The drawer I store pjs in was full, and there were a few things lying around my bedroom floor. The things I've found most useful in this method (aside from the idea to sort by category in the first place) were:

- 'does it spark joy?' - it was amazing how many pjs I've kept after previous decluttering sessions and I've still not worn them because either I don't like them or they don't fit quite right. It was so freeing to just put them aside.

- thanking items for what they've taught you. My biggest problem when clearing previously has been the fact that someone gave me the item as a gift so I feel obliged to keep it, or it cost a lot so I can't justify getting rid of it as it hasn't been worn threadbear yet. By just saying 'you taught me I didn't suit that colour' I felt I was able to put these items aside too. 

I got rid of 12 different items-11 pjs/nighties etc and a pair of slippers. I had actually thrown out two of my husbands old tshirts the previous day and I'm not counting them. Good progress! Plus the alternative way of folding is great but highlighted how mismatched my pjs are, a few nighties then a lot of random long and short bottoms. I've two tops I liked and kept but only one set of matching pjs. At present I'm wearing a nursing vest at night for easy breastfeeding so this works ok for now but I may be investing in new pjs sometime soon and discarding more! 

Day 2 I cheated again and didn't do more clothes as suggested as I didn't have time, so chose candles. I'm not a particular candle hoarder but had a display candle set for the dining table (which lived elsewhere to avoid toddler attacks!), a selection of scented candles and some coloured candles for display purposes only. Many of these came from The Pier, my most missed high street recession casualty - well, after Woolworths - or were gifts. I got rid of 11, another productive session and I now have a lot more room on the side of the bath!  

It was strange to get rid of engagement gifts that we've had for almost 8 years, but freeing too! I've put the white heart tea light holders into a drawer with tea lights as I will use them as dinner table decorations when we've guests. Rest will be used regularly.

A decluttered home

I got married when I was 23. I was still living like a teenager. There were piles of clothes and handbags on my bedroom floor. I was studying for my chartered accountancy exams and had piles of paper, files and textbooks scattered about. My husband had a massive house fire the year before and had lost everything he owned, apart from the clothes on his back and a few things preserved by the tumble dryer drum. When I (and my many piles of 'stuff') moved in to his two up two down, the house was full and honestly, 90% of it was mine. 

That's embarrassing. What's more embarrassing is that I allowed myself to continue living like this and moved box after box from that small house to our next home, most of it unopened in the 15 months I lived there. 

So I started reading homekeeping blogs and have managed to change my approach to homekeeping and no longer hoard new items but the backlog is still there. I've thrown out piles of newspapers and magazines, CDs, lots of clothes but there is still so much stuff. I have tried 10 minutes of decluttering a day. I have tried emptying a drawer and  sorting it. Nothing has really made any impact despite many full black bags leaving the house to find a new home in a charity shop or the dump.

Then I decided after reading another blog about the KonMari method that maybe I needed to take a look. So I bought the beatselling book, 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying' by Marie Kondo. It has already changed my life. I'm not exaggerating. 

This blog will be about all the ways I find happiness in my home; cooking, cleaning, my family, interior design, even menu planning but right now it's all about this book. As I start to sort each category I'm going to blog to keep myself motivated. Expect lots of 'before and after' shots. And the 'before' is technically already an 'after' shot as I've been making a real effort to declutter for the last 4 years!